Conscious Breath (Step Two)

First, we worked with our posture, and practiced sitting still, upright, opening and leading with our hearts as we met the challenges of the day. Perhaps we found that we could lean into and depend on this noble posture to remind us of our inherent worth as human beings, which is especially important as parents, as we are models for our children. Keeping our shoulders back and our heads held high. This posture then connects us to our basic goodness...that we don't have to earn or deserve but is our (and our child's) birthright. So much is here in just this slight pulling back of the shoulders, taking the risk of vulnerability and emotional availability to those we love. As I was preparing this post I got interested in how and why babies take that first breath after "breathing" fluid in utero. I assumed that how babies start breathing was well known and had a simple explanation. In fact, MEDICAL EXPERTS DO NOT KNOW HOW BABIES ADAPT SO QUICKLY TO FRESH AIR. There are many theories including "transitory asphyxia" which signals the brain to activate breathing, to hormones in the placenta becoming inactive at birth, to environmental elements like gravity, light, temperature, sound and touch changing the baby's physiology. So quite a few mechanisms play a part in that first breath and no one has clearly figured it out. As I said to one parent, “If the first breath is a miracle, then each breath is a miracle.” Without conscious breath, there is no conscious/intentional parenting. Instead, we merely act out old, over-learned habits and beliefs (inherited largely from our parents, and from the society around us). However, as we become aware that we’re breathing, we become more present, and we increase the bandwidth of our awareness. With conscious breath, that part of our unconscious, controlled by the survival brain, is freed up and information stored in our body (the the body IS the subconscious mind), starts to percolate upwards, and become available to us. Every conscious breath creates new neural pathways, new possibilities and connections we previously didn’t see. Through joining the noble posture with conscious breath, we can begin to restore trust in ourselves—and start finding our own, unique way to parent: open-heartedly, consciously, and intuitively, beyond merely getting through the day and surviving. Aware of each breath, we can begin to practice intentional parenting. On each inhale, we can receive the situation, our child’s behaviors, as they are (without judgment), just as we receive each breath. On the breath we can begin to practice what Byron Katie calls, “Loving what is.” Then on the exhale we can practice giving ourselves fully to the situation, meeting it with self-compassion and balanced energy. Our responses now flowing from our deeper connection to ourselves and insight as to what is actually needed in the moment. Ever new, ever changing, breath by breath we learn to parent from our hearts...Here's a short, guided breath meditation....