Let’s rewind. As you start to drive home you notice that you’re rehashing an argument you had with the co-worker that drives you nuts. You feel your jaw and stomach tighten up ready for battle, and your heart starts to beat more rapidly. Instead of letting the mind and body continue to prepare for fight or flight, you begin to consciously soften and relax your abdominal muscles. (After all your co-worker is not there in the car with you, so at this moment you’re safe, right?). You notice that your breathing has become shallow, so you slowly deepen it by exhaling a bit more…sending a message to your reptilian-brain that you can handle this situation without the adrenaline rush.
As your stomach relaxes, you sense that things are not quite as pressing and packed tight (and you can feel your jaw unclench a bit). As your belly continues to soften and relax, and your breath deepens, your mind also begins to relax, and you even have room for a little smile to come to your face about what a silly argument it was in the first place. As you move away from the worry and frustration thoughts, you place your attention on your heart. You gently place one hand over your heart, and you feel it beating, just as it has since you were first conceived and floating in the soothing amniotic fluid. Safe and warm. You tune into your heart’s rhythm and use it to keep time with your breathing: 4 beats on the exhale, 4 beats on the inhale. You relax even a bit more as your attention moves further away from the worry brain, and into your heart.
As you pull up in front of your house, you take a moment to stay in your heart and breath. You place your attention on each of your children one at a time. On your inhale you draw them close to your heart, and on your exhale you smile at them. Just this simple act spreads a flow of happiness throughout your whole body. You do this just for a couple of minutes and consciously increase the feelings of appreciation for each child.
As you enter your home, your children rush up to meet you and stand at the door, each one with their hands over their hearts (as you’ve modeled for them). You all take a moment to stand there and breathe in and out through your hearts, centering attention there. Then as you hold each child’s gaze for a moment, you say specially to each one quietly and sincerely, “I love you.” And both you and they know that you really feel it and mean it. Then you have a group hug and the giggling and talking and tattling begins—but you are all more centered, acknowledged, balanced and connected. You move into your evening, with all that it may bring, together, a family….
© 2011 by HeartMentors
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